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#BedTalk #4 Keeping Positive Habits During COVID-19

#BedTalk #4 Keeping Positive Habits During COVID-19

Keep as many good habits as you can. It's harder to restart a habit than start a brand new one.

Are all your bad habits going out the window with the shelter-in-place (sheltered and safe!) restrictions? Stop that madness! Focus on your positive habits and keep them up.

Keep as many of your good habits as possible and keep up your routine. We're not on vacation and it will be harder for you to get back your positive behaviors when things go back to normal.

Go to bed at a decent time instead of binging Netflix. Food prep on Sundays instead of winging it throughout the week and getting snack attacks every couple of hours. Keep up your movement instead of getting pancake butt while destroying your brain cells with hours of social media.

Marcey talks about maintaining positive habits in this latest #BedTalk, inspired by David Rendall and the #BedTalkChallenge. Check out this #BedTalk about keeping up your Diva Day.

What positive routine will you commit to keeping?

#BedTalk #2 Do what makes you feel human

#BedTalk #2 Do what makes you feel human

#BedTalks #2 – Do what makes you feel human. Marcey Rader isn't stopping Diva Day.

Self-quarantine, shelter-in-place, stay-at-home. It doesn't matter what you call it. No one, or very few people, is going to see you right now. It doesn't mean you let yourself go, stop shaving, let your eyebrows take over your face, or wear the same clothes for three days.

Do what make you feel good and makes you feel human. I regularly have my mini Diva Day on Sundays when I paint my nails, shave my legs, tweeze my eyebrows, and clothes prep for the week. I decided not to stop doing these things because it makes me feel human. The last thing I want to do in all of this is also feel bad about myself.

What can you continue to make yourself feel human?

Thanks to David Rendall for this great #BedTalksChallenge! For more bed talks search for #BedTalkChallenge on YouTube. For my #BedTalks visit my main blog page.

#BedTalk #1 What is a good day?

#BedTalk #1 What is a good day?

Marcey Rader takes part in the #BedTalkChallenge inspired by David Rendall

In the midst of the coronavirus and COVID-19, what would it look like for you to call it a good day in the areas of productivity, family and friends, and your health?

When you work in a role that requires you to physically be there and you can't, how can you feel valuable? If you are a scientist and you can't be in the lab are you still relevant? If you are a hairstylist and your chair is closed for business right now, what is your purpose?

Here I talk about redefining what a good day might mean to you.

What would it take for you to have a good day?

Thanks to David Rendall for this great #BedTalksChallenge! For more bed talks search for #BedTalkChallenge on YouTube. For my #BedTalks visit my main blog page.

Experience the moment with your eyes.

Experience the moment with your eyes.

Earlier this month I stepped back in time by attending the Mixtape Tour – New Kids on The Block, Naughty By Nature, Salt & Pepa, Tiffany, and Debbie Gibson. I had been looking forward to it for months. I don't often spend that amount of cash to go to a concert, even though I love live music, but I could not pass up reliving that part of my teen years. I even strategically bought tickets in the front row of a section, one from the end (because who would buy a single seat) so that I could dance. I found two people to go with me and counted the days.

It was an event. I listened to the Mixtape playlist on Spotify, letting it help me get home from a long drive from Charleston and Asheville. I remembered the steps I used to do in my living room while watching Friday Night Videos, and I even dressed up. The dressing up part was funny because I sent the photo to my virtual assistant, who is in her mid-20s and didn't see this as dressing up since it is all back in style now.

Marcey on Concert

Unfortunately, one of my pals couldn't make it due to illness, and so it was just me and Jessica Coscia, who bought a special t-shirt for it. We arrived early and had great seats. The DJ got us pumped up, and then NKOTB came out and rocked the house. The crowd was mostly women in their 40s and 50s, dressed like the 90s, singing the lyrics like their hair scrunchies and acid-washed jeans depended on it.

Marcey and Friend in Mixtape Tour

Okay Marcey, what's up with the concert review?

There's a reason for the lead-in. I didn't know whether to feel pity or shake my head in disbelief at the mother and daughter beside me. The mother was about my age, mid-40s. The daughter in her teens. They both filmed the concert with their phones the entire time. The whole show, from start to finish, they watched through a tiny lens in their camera, rather than with their own freakin' eyeballs. We were not close to the stage, so it couldn't have even been a good video. They were one of the very few people not standing up or dancing. 

People, is this what it has come down to? Experiencing events only through the lens of a phone? I see this all the time with parents, recording their children's performance or special moment, instead of watching it and living the experience now. I even heard a kid at a softball game tell her mom she didn't have to take a video, maybe because she wanted her to really see her. When she looked up to get recognition from her mom, she wanted eye contact, not the back of a phone. At the very least, have someone who doesn't care as much record it, if you are really going to watch it again.

I was telling my friend about the mother-daughter recording duo and my friend, who is much younger, said: “maybe they were live-streaming it.” Well, if so, I also feel pity for whoever is watching a two-hour fuzzy, blurry live stream from the nosebleed section.

I took one photo and a 15-second video for my husband just so he could see the stage set up and the perspective of our seats. Jessica recorded a few short videos and took a few photos, but we were present. Dancing, singing and living in the moment, rather than recording it to watch later (if ever). 

Part of the reason why I left Facebook and Twitter and why I'm not on Instagram, is because I don't want to get into the habit of only taking photos or videos wondering what other people are going to think or comment. I don't want to spend time posting about a concert while I'm at the show (when I could quickly post it later when I get home). I'm one of the few speakers who doesn't want people to tweet while I'm speaking because then I know they aren't listening to me because they can't do both of those at once. Note – I am writing this post two weeks after the event because, in this instance, real-time doesn't matter.

The Mixtape tour was nostalgic in dress, songs, and dance. It also made me yearn for the days when we went to concerts to experience the music and performance and watched it with our eyeballs, danced until our muscles hurt, and sang the words like we were the official back-up.

National Speaker Association Awards

This week I attended the NSA Influence Conference in Denver. During the awards banquet for Certified Speaking Professionals, I was so saddened by one of the recipients. She came on stage taking a selfie video, received her award still looking at the phone, and then as she was walking off-stage was either texting or tweeting.

Not once did she make eye contact with the audience and all of her professional photos will be of her looking at her phone.

I challenge you on your next vacation to take photos or videos and not post them immediately.

I challenge you to take them for yourself and not just for others.

I challenge you in your next situation where you are an audience member, to focus on the performance and be respectful to the performer, rather than take a poor video to post on YouTube or tweet in the middle of the show.

Experience the moment and see it with your eyeballs, not through a lens.

What Do You Need to Give Up to Get Better?

What Do You Need to Give Up to Get Better?

On June 1 I launched a new keynote, What’s Your Joe Joe®? I’m a professional speaker whose topics are on productivity and health with titles of Email Extinguisher, Conquer the Calendar, Task Mastery, and Energy Escalators. Easy-peasy for me, but not this one. This new keynote was personal and about triggering three autoimmune diseases in my thirties living a high-stress, high-intensity lifestyle. And did I mention I put myself in menopause at 36?

Yep, sure did. And most people would have thought I was the healthiest person in the room. I was competing in long-distance triathlon, ultra-running, ultra-mountain biking, and adventure racing. I traveled up to 45 weeks a year. I was climbing that corporate ladder like a boss.

I was Superwoman.

Until I wasn’t.

I spent 3-4 years trying to get diagnosed appropriately. I didn’t look like a sick person, so I wasn’t really looked at seriously. I also had a facade to manage. That facade was so strong, not even my closest friends knew I was suffering. I didn’t even tell my husband everything because deep down, I knew my lifestyle wasn’t healthy, but I was getting satisfaction from it in other ways.

I was burned out and bored at work and those long hours of training made tasks doable. Traveling so much gave me a lot of private time to sit with mild bouts of depression.

When I get a promotion, then I’ll slow down.
When I get a raise, I’ll hire someone to help me with personal tasks.
When I do an Ironman, I’ll feel like it’s enough.
When I do an off-road Ironman, I’ll feel like it’s enough.
When I move to a smaller house, I’ll spend more time with my husband because I’ll have less to manage.

I lived by someday, but it never came. I hit the goal and immediately made another one that was harder to reach.

Writing this 7-minute keynote took four months and I’m still tweaking and refining. I felt scared for people to see the real me. To know that I had felt like a fraud and wasn’t who they thought I was (or who I thought they thought I was). I believed I was emotionally over all these diagnoses and was living my new routine. Instead, I was just playing the role of a different type of Superwoman and realized that I was still grieving the old me.

What I gave up.

I had to give up a lot to get better. I had to completely change my diet, which made me feel high-maintenance and a pain-in-the-ass to my friends and family. I retired from racing and lost an entire group of friends. These things felt impossible at the time, but I found support in unexpected places, made new friends, found new activities, and created firm boundaries for myself.

Have you ever given up alcohol and stopped getting invitations?
Have you turned down a promotion or job because of family obligations and felt resentful or like you missed your one chance?
Have you missed out on parties or social events because you have anxiety?

We all have something that we’ve been told to give up to get better, but it’s seemed so challenging or alienating, we don’t do it, or we only do it halfway. We’re afraid we’ll lose our facade, our friends, or jobs once we make the change.

Superman and Superwoman are fictional characters. You can climb the ladder or build a business without sacrificing your health. You can be a woman or man who’s super, without being a superhero.

And those Joe-Joe's?

My husband Kevin is a drum teacher and casually told a student the story of the Joe-Joe's and why I stopped eating them. This woman, who I have NEVER met, figured out how to make gluten-free Joe Joe's, made them, packaged them and called them Ro-Ro's. Cue Ugly Cry big time. I have only had two people Alicia Marker (hoop cookies) and Lisa Veronica Wood (birthday donuts) go to such trouble to continue a tradition for me, but this woman does not even know me. What a beautiful, special soul she has. The only gifts I bought this year were for my 25 in 25@ challenge because this is what the holidays are about for me. Nothing I will receive will be as special as this.

Ro-Ro

What do you need to give up to get better?
What’s Your Joe Joe®?

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